Sep
19
Slow Jam the News with Senator Kamala Harris


-Last week was the third
Democratic debate, where 10 presidential hopefuls
went head-to-head. You know, I was actually going
to make a joke about this story, but I don’t think
it needs a joke. I think it needs
to be slow jammed. You know what
I’m talking about, Tariq? -Yeah, Jimmy.
I think you’re saying you want to slow jam this news.
-That’s right. I want to slow jam the news,
and I’m not the only one. [ Cheers and applause ] -Hi. [ Cheers and applause ] So, hello. I am Senator Kamala Harris, and I, too, would like
to slow jam this news. -Well, hit me six times! ♪♪ -During last week’s debate, I told the American people
why I’m running for president. I’m a public servant,
a civil-rights leader, and the second African-American
woman in history to be elected
to the United States Senate. [ Cheers and applause ] At the core of my campaign
is my 3:00 a.m. agenda, my plan to solve the issues
that keep Americans up at night. I’ll implement
healthcare for all and even give middle-class
families $500 a month right in their pockets. And let me tell you something,
I’m just getting started. -Oh, yeah. Kamala Harris
is just heatin’ up. She’s thinkin’ about you
late at night when you’re trying to put that sweet restless body
of yours to bed. Is that $500 in your pocket or are you just happy
your healthcare is free? With Kamala, it’s both. -♪ Ever since Barack left,
we’ve been off track ♪ ♪ But Kamala is trying
to get us back to black ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -Now, here’s a question for you,
Kamala Cabello. [ Laughter ] This country’s got a whole lot of hot-button issues
that we can touch on. But what’s the first thing
we need to do to give us all some relief? -Well, let me start
by saying this. Climate change
is the single greatest threat facing our world today. [ Cheers and applause ] That’s why I’m committed
to passing a Green New Deal, creating clean jobs, and finally putting an end
to fracking once and for all. -Mmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm. Mamala Kamala
just don’t give a frack. She took a good look at Mother
Earth and decided it’s a MILF. A Mother I’d Like to Fix. [ Laughter ] -♪ The planet is a MILF now ♪ ♪ All right ♪ -All right. -♪ When it comes to climate,
she’s a real front-runner ♪ ♪ She’s heatin’ up like
it’s still hot girl summer ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -I like the way you work it,
K. Higgity. But I gotta ask. Lately this country
has been so divided, sleeping on opposite sides
of the bed. Why do you think we can’t all
just come together? -Well, it’s my opinion
that we need a president who fights for the best
of who we are. And over the past three years, Donald Trump has done
the exact opposite. -Hold up. So what you’re trying to say
is that Trump’s the bad guy? ♪♪ -Duh. ♪♪ -Now, tell me this, Kama Kama
Kama Kama Kamala Harris. By now, we’ve seen the Democrats get down and dirty
on the debate stage. What about debating
President Trump? Do you think
you could deliver the goods against the
commander in cheese puff? -Well, Jimmy,
if I do debate President Trump, I’m sure it’ll be
a competitive faceoff where either one of us
could end up on top. -Really? -No. I’d wipe
the floor with him. [ Cheers and applause ] -All right, all right. One last tango in Harris
before this interview’s over. Now, we’ve got an audience jam-packed with college students
here tonight. So what would you tell
these curious coeds that you haven’t already? -Well, just that together, we can create the America
we believe in. We can uplift
vulnerable communities, and we can finally recognize
that crippling student-loan debt is a burden on all of us. That’s why we need
to make college debt-free for every American to attend. [ Cheers and applause ] -Wow. Now, that’s someone who knows
how to play to a college crowd. Well, guess what.
Two can play at that game. Oh, yeah.
White Claw fall. Ow! -Jimmy. Jimmy. Uh, do less. -♪ Kamala just dropped
a bomb-a-la ♪ -It’s time for a leader
who leads with their heart. -We must stand together,
or we’ll all fall apart. -♪ The nation is down,
but we can rebound ♪ ♪ The future is female,
and her time is now ♪ ♪ This girl is on fire,
don’t step on the fuse ♪ -And that is how
we slow jam the news. -Oh, yeah. -Give it up for
Senator Kamala Harris! [ Cheers and applause ]